Khall ([info]khall) wrote,
@ 2008-01-28 14:49:00
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Current mood: amused

Do you need to improve?
Ten steps to being a better wife.

K.


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Yay!
[info]goldenmaia
2008-01-28 11:09 pm UTC (link)
Thanks for the tips ;) I am working hard on being a good little wife. Changing my evil ways and all that junk. Woo!

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Re: Yay!
[info]lumpyone
2008-01-29 03:31 pm UTC (link)
No need to change the way you are when you are just perfect :)

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poor baby boy
[info]redhotlips
2008-01-29 12:20 am UTC (link)
should I cut is steak and pre-chew his food too?

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Re: poor baby boy
[info]khall
2008-01-29 06:37 am UTC (link)
       Well, since you're offering...;)

K.

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[info]cubanchic
2008-01-29 12:35 am UTC (link)
you know this takes a bit of time, but I might let Amo answer a lot for me.

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[info]wikiness
2008-01-29 01:04 am UTC (link)
I'm no wife, but it seems like these are good ideas for slaves to follow too--along with the boot and ball-licking of course. ;)

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[info]goldenmaia
2008-01-29 05:11 am UTC (link)
Now that's a pretty image :D

Edited at 2008-01-29 05:11 am UTC

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[info]wikiness
2008-01-29 12:50 pm UTC (link)
Indeed it is! As are you GoldenMaia. ;)

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[info]goldenmaia
2008-01-29 02:35 pm UTC (link)
*heeh* Flirt! ;) But? I will not turn my nose up at a compliment from a sweet lady :) Thank you!

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[info]wikiness
2008-01-29 05:05 pm UTC (link)
Yes, I am a flirt, but somewhat selective as to who I flirt with. Have a wonderful day GoldenMaia. ;)

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[info]snarlingbadger
2008-01-29 05:59 am UTC (link)
Thank the Gods I don't have a husband I need to worry about pleasing.

Just a cat. (The dog's easy enough to please).

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[info]drcruel
2008-01-29 03:15 pm UTC (link)
Actually, that all seems like fairly reasonable advice for wives and for husbands as well. I was all prepared to get offended but I'm not-there's nothing wrong with going a little out of our way to do the little things so we stay connected.

It's funny, when Shay and I meet for lunch and kiss hello, some people feel the need to make "you just saw each other 3hrs ago and I saw you kiss then" comments. Or to tell me I'm privileged because Shay will get up and cross the room to greet me. Is everyone so cynical about love? I always notice, because it's one of the few things I'm not cynical about. HA!

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[info]khall
2008-01-29 06:31 pm UTC (link)
       Weak. The whole point of posting this was to instill outrage and proto-feminist angst in people.:(

K.

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[info]drcruel
2008-01-29 07:57 pm UTC (link)
Meh. Being as how I believe in equality of the sexes, I don't qualify as a feminist. Though it did seem like a few chicks got angsty at the suggestion that they will have stronger marriages if they're nice to their husbands. How dare we expect such courtesy! I'd ask what logic such offense is based on but, then again, "feminist logic" is an oxymoron.

And, of course, all that advice would be equally valid (if not equally likely to arouse feminist angst) if directed to a husband or, for that matter, to a boyfriend, a gay man, a gay woman, etc. I was fully prepared to be outraged, but I couldn't find anything to be outraged about. It was all basic advice on going just a little out of the way to be, you know, nice. Such suggestions don't particularly outrage me-or my wife-which is perhaps why we're happily married. We're nice to each other.

So...why is it that when a feminist decides to act like a man, she never decides to act like a NICE man?

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[info]goldenmaia
2008-01-29 08:27 pm UTC (link)
I find it sad that so many partnerships (wives/husbands/boyfriends/girlfriends/slaves/master/mistresses) are founded on more struggle and conflict than joy. I mean, aside from the good ol' argument or what-not, I tihnk your relationship should make you happy more than it upsets you.

Um, maybe I'm getting off topic....

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[info]drcruel
2008-01-29 08:40 pm UTC (link)
No (well, I guess that's for khall to decide before I bogart his entire thread here), but in any case I absolutely agree with you. Happy relationships aren't a "zomg I must do this or (s)he will stop loving me" checklist, they're a series of small gestures we make to each other because we care. If Shay comes home while I'm typing this, for example, I'll get up and greet her, not because some stupid list says I should but because I'll be happy she's home.

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[info]wyndie
2008-01-29 03:15 pm UTC (link)
I notice you didn't post the 10 steps to being a better husband ;^)

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[info]lumpyone
2008-01-29 03:34 pm UTC (link)
I was just gonna say the same thing. This advice would apply to husbands as well as wives, especially those who are not married but might get married one day. Marriage is all about working together. Guys can't expect their wives to change into this "perfect wife" like in this article because it sort of goes against the point of "Don't change him" which would also be "don't change her".

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[info]drcruel
2008-01-29 08:01 pm UTC (link)
Oh yes, equality. Because, you know, when someone posts the "10 ways to be a better husband" article (the hyperlink to which was included in the "10 ways to be a better wife" article), the Masculinists get all up in arms.

Most of the advice is pretty gender-neutral-and it's pretty good, too. I really wanted to find something that pissed me off, but I couldn't. Fortunately, I happened upon some of the text from the State of the Union address, and balance was restored.

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[info]wyndie
2008-01-29 08:27 pm UTC (link)
The only things I found fault in was that there was stuff on the husband list dealing with kids. Like you have to have kids if you get married. Or alternatively that the dad doesn't spend as much time with the kids as he should. Or even from a different point of view that the women don't have anything wrong in their treatment of the children because there was nothing mentioned in it in the wife list.

Oh and that looking good is the number one important thing on the wife list while it's only number 7 on the husband list. That irks me a bit. The rest of it is reasonable and I see my partner and I minus the kid thing do these things almost every day.

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[info]drcruel
2008-01-29 08:38 pm UTC (link)
lol it had never occurred to me to compare the "husband" and "wife" lists to check if the "look good" advice was equally rated. Some feminists would probably be outraged at the suggestion that women are attracted to such shallow things as physical appearance!

I agree on the kid-thing; we're happily child-free. Besides, most of this advice could apply to SO-type relationships; you don't need to be married to be nice.

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[info]wyndie
2008-01-29 08:48 pm UTC (link)
Well, I was just wanting to look at them side by side to see if they were, you know... equal.

And when number one on the female side is eat right! Stay fit! Wear makeup! Dress sexy! and number 7 on the male side is Make sure you have your nose hair trimmed. I kinda had to roll my eyes.

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[info]drcruel
2008-01-29 10:26 pm UTC (link)
Wait...so you're saying I don't have to trim my nose hair?

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[info]wyndie
2008-01-29 08:28 pm UTC (link)
I was actually commenting on the 10 steps to being a better husband listed in the article and that's only because I was being devil's advocate. :^D Also, see my comment above concerning the good advice :^)

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[info]khall
2008-01-29 06:31 pm UTC (link)
       That is because? Boys are allowed to do whatever they want, Wendys. Girls are the ones who have to be good and well-behaved.:)

K.

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[info]wyndie
2008-01-29 08:31 pm UTC (link)
Obviously. :^P

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[info]relinquish2you
2008-02-03 01:43 pm UTC (link)
Well, I'm not a wife yet, but I follow all of these pointers already with regards to my primary. It's funny, because when we moved in together, I had a strict rule about "cave man time." I asked him, straight up, how much he needed per day/week, and he had no clue what I was talking about.

He wanted to spend *all* his time with me (at first) and I would MAKE him take time by himself. Of course, as things settled down, he realized how important it was that we'd scheduled it in, and things are SO much better for it.

I definitely have to work on finding more free time for the both of us, though. We have opposing work schedules, so that makes things tough.... I also have to work on pointer number one. I've been getting better about taking care of myself, thanks to strict orders from Sir, though :)

Incidentally, part of my "training" with Sir has been in preparation for marriage. Not to be subserviant, or anything like that, but to get better about things like letting go of pride during disagreements, etc. to facilitate communication. There are many "transferable skills" that are so useful.... Ain't polyamory grand?

AAAAND, before I get ripped a new one by feminazis, let me clarify that I believe in gender equality. I do lots of nice things for my primary, but he does lots of nice things for me, even if they're different nice things. (For instance, I'm the cook, but I hate doing laundry, so he does that.) If we both give 150%, then everyone comes out ahead, n'est pas? Love is about giving.

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