khall: 12 reasons why I'm poly and other cool shit

Khall (

khall) wrote,
@ 2008-04-03 14:39:00

Current mood:

witty

12 reasons why I'm poly and other cool shit
The Hard Stuff: "He Saw Me Flirt With Another Man!"

"I touched his face and danced with him in an inappropriate way."

       So wait. You touched his face? And your husband is furious. And you danced with him in an inappropriate way? Does that mean sexy? And hot? Like, you know, a woman should dance? Because if it does? Your husband in an insecure, sniveling little bitch. I don't really drink. I mean, I'll have a beer with sushi or whatever and once in a while on Christmas eve or something. But, alcohol and I don't agree with each other very well or very often. But seriously? You're swearing off drinking and your husband is making you feel like shit...because you got drunk and touched someone's face and had a fun, meaningless dance with them? And probably were super turned on and wanted to go home and have sex? Wtf. Why would...this even happen?

       I mean...okay, I'm poly, I don't really grasp the whole jealousy thing. But...seriously...shouldn't...like, you actually do something before your SO is allowed to get jealous? I mean...either your husband doesn't drink, doesn't flirt, doesn't stare at another woman's chest or ass when she bends over in front of him and hasn't jerked off to porn and therefore pretty much wouldn't recognize fun if it came up and bitch-slapped him with its titty tassles and gave him a lapdance...or he's a hypocritical prude who should never, ever, ever, ever be invited to anything even remotely resembling a party, ever again.

       Seriously. I mean, I could even see how he'd be like, "You embarassed me, that wasn't cool, please don't drink so much that you lose control of yourself again." (Of course, if a guy had done it, he'd be sleeping on the couch for a month, but going with the double standard here...) But...really, never drinking again, because your husband was so scarred by this experience that it has severely damaged your marriage? Your husband is kind of a dweeb. Dump his monkey ass and take half his shit. Not like the doofus is doing you any good...and if you took half the stick out of his ass he might actually be worth hanging out with.

       Wtf. "I'm never drinking again." Puritan. You're trapped in a loveless marriage with an emasculated human toadstool. Only in this society and culture would your desperate psychological plea for a case of beer and a half rack of football players shock you when it manifests. You know that part in Poltergeist, where the spirits say, "Geeeett Ouuuuutt"? Yeah. Channel them. And then have some spirits and a freaking guilt-free dance or two.

PS. Please note this post is not, in anyway, inspired by golden_maia or her propensity for dancing with strangers and I did not write the article, fake the letter or use this passive-aggressive methodology to punish her for her generally disturbingly hussy-like behavior. That's not a tear you see.:/

"as well as a movie adaptation of Japanese anime series "Robotech.""

       All I have to say is? YES, YES, YES! More, faster!

K.

(Post a new comment)

	wrymuse 2008-04-03 11:45 pm UTC (link)
	You have such a disturbed picture of women. There would be no sleeping on the couch in my house for that. In fact, I've never made Richard sleep on the couch for /any/ reason. Nor do I have any friends who would do that. :P And yes, I agree that she needs to get out and shot that fucking Karen Karbo in the face. (Reply to this)

	donsgurl 2008-04-04 12:01 am UTC (link)
	We're not poly, but even we think that's just nuts. It points to major insecurity on the guy's part. ...and that gal recommended therapy?! That's so bogus! ~because it's obviously all the woman's fault -- and his reaction and their understandings together don't have a lot to do with it? I call bs. (Reply to this)

	goldenmaia 2008-04-04 12:11 am UTC (link)
	THATS IT!!! ON THE COUCH WITH YOU! (Or...futon....) flutters lashes I don't think that it has the same 'threatening' effect though. ;> ;> ;> It's no wonder the girl had some booze and cut lose a little...I think she left out that she took off her clothes and offered a lap dance. Why else be 'sickened' by doing what humans do...flirt for attention. Bah.... (Reply to this)(Thread)

	khall 2008-04-04 01:16 am UTC (link)
	I was not flirting with you for attention! Why do you jump to that conclusion?!?!?!111 smooch I love you. K. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Hrmmm romanticantics 2008-04-04 02:00 am UTC (link)
	Does that mean if I dance naked with other men I'm a hussy! SAY IT ISN'T SO! :( (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: Hrmmm khall 2008-04-04 09:23 pm UTC (link)
	No, you are a strumpet, instead.:) smooch K. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	stephdray 2008-04-04 02:35 am UTC (link)
	It's always so weird when I agree with you completely :) (Reply to this)(Thread)

	khall 2008-04-04 09:26 pm UTC (link)
	Woah, dude. You're psyched for the Robotech movie too?:) K. (Reply to this)(Parent)

bound_dragon
2008-04-04 02:48 am UTC (link)

It's quite funny but the other day I was talking to a friend and discussing my point of view on somethings. He tells me why can't other women be more like you and I tell him that there are plenty of women out there who do think like I do and to keep looking. This goes back to what Wrymuse said. Sadly, enough there are enough women out there that fit that kind of stereotype to validate it. When my bf gets home from work I get the run down of all the hot chicks he saw and about which ones he would like to fuck. Now, any of the women I know would not think twice about it, but there is a large majority of women who if they're SOs told them the same thing would freak out and have a fit. Instead I ask when are you bringing one home? Sadly, enough he sees them all while they are leaving the country and not coming into the country (he works at the airport).

Oh I suppose Im a complete tramp for dancing in between my bf and one of his friends on new year's eve in a rather provocative manner. Damn I need to stop drinking >< my behavior is sooooooo out of control. How in the world could I do such a thing? /sarcasim off

Oh, I found this attached article to be really hysterical:

http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/couplesandmarriage/articlerb.aspx?cp-documentid=6394925

(Reply to this)(Thread)

	khall 2008-04-04 09:28 pm UTC (link)
	Yeah, I saw that article too. It made my heart hurt, but did not produce a flame.:) K. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	ortolansings 2008-04-07 08:55 am UTC (link)
	Another reason to be an aunt. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	ortolansings 2008-04-04 02:48 am UTC (link)
	"You're trapped in a loveless marriage with an emasculated human toadstool." ahahhahahahhaha...! I don't have a couch. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	khall 2008-04-04 09:29 pm UTC (link)
	I don't either, just a love seat. You'd have to be freakishly short to be able to sleep on it. Maybe that is the key to domestic bliss and thus why it is called a love seat? K. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	ortolansings 2008-04-05 09:35 am UTC (link)
	HAHHA. Are you calling me a freak, mister? But maybe you have a point. Sybaritic life is much more easily accomplished on the floor upon cushions, or in a big bed. Not a couch. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	khall 2008-04-05 06:47 pm UTC (link)
	I don't know, are you freakishly short?:) I have often thought of starting a hedonism religion. K. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	ortolansings 2008-04-07 08:59 am UTC (link)
	-I- don't think so. Do it, let's start a cult! /giggle (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	khall 2008-04-07 09:31 am UTC (link)
	Well, how tall are you? Maybe if you were short, shaved (;)) and green we could start The Cult of the Nymph? You could be like Jesus, except, you know, hotter.:) K. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	janetraeness 2008-04-04 05:50 pm UTC (link)
	Bah... unless by "danced inappropriately" she means the horizontal tango, I don't understand why she would be so horrified. Bah. Humbug! In other news... smooch! (Reply to this)(Thread)

	khall 2008-04-04 09:30 pm UTC (link)
	Well, I can see in a conservative suburban neighborhood why your wife getting drunk and dry humping another man in front of the whole PTA would be upsetting. But...yeah. Swearing off drinking forever and 'repressing' further, is not the solution to the problem. licks K. (Reply to this)(Parent)

drcruel
2008-04-05 04:52 pm UTC (link)

Ick.

This kind of thing is more troubling than it looks because, unless the husband is just a jealous ass, his response seems way out of proportion. At a guess, she doesn't give him that kind of flirting as often as she should, and decided to get a little tipsy and cut loose a little-with somebody else. She felt sexy for the first time in years but used that energy to ignore her husband, he got all butthurt and passive-aggressive. They both need to be slapped with a dead fish. He needs to learn how to better express his needs and she needs to learn to cut loose around her husband. What bugs me is that if the story had been reversed (he gets drunk and flirts and grinds with some other chick at a wedding) the chick who writes the advice column would have probably talked about how he needs to crawl across hot coals to beg forgiveness, and the problem and solution would be exactly the same as it is now. Repressing is certainly not the answer.

Just a guess. Unless he's a jealous freak, in which case she should run, quick like bunny.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

khall
2008-04-05 07:02 pm UTC (link)

       Well, obviously I don't have your therapist background. But my instinct is that this is a repressed woman. I mean, you don't get drunk, lose control of yourself and dry hump a stranger unless you need that mechanism in order to be okay with yourself. Just like, it's only okay to feast/drink in this society with the excuse of a holiday. "It was Cinco De Mayo so I got drunk last night." It's all part of the Puritan legacy we were left with. And the response that she/they instinctively used is indicative of a repression impulse. "I'll never drink again." Repress, repress, repress.

       At a guess, I'd suspect she's also subby, or dommy, or bi or has an extremely high sex drive that she's ashamed of or otherwise is (or has the potential to be) highly sexual and not strictly "normal". Most people are not that susceptible to alcohol's inhibition-stripping effects. And most people who don't normally drink, and are adults, would not drink so much, so quickly, that they would reach this state. In fact, I would even say, could not drink quickly enough to reach this state. You pretty much have to be trying to get drunk or be a two-drink drunk, I guess, in order to do this. And then, I would still argue that you don't do anything drunk (or in anyway intoxicated) that isn't a normal tendency or a characteristic action sober. Which further makes me think that she's one of those girls who likes sex but can't say yes without the excuse of alcohol. At one point in time I had plans to visit a couple, two women, and there was much talk about a threesome. The comment the...submissive partner made was that she'd need to get drunk first. I suspect this is the same kind of thing, but even more repressed. My primary purpose in posting this was because so many of us on my friend's list are poly and kinky and pretty open minded. But, sadly, we are not representative of the average American's experiences or attitudes.

       I really equate this kind of thing with/as a form of sexual/emotional abuse. Except it is inflicted by society and our culture, rather than some big, mean man. It's Christianity and the WASP interpretation of it that makes these women hate themselves and fear their needs and feel such shame about them. It's really sickening. (Plus, her husband is an asshat.)

K.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

drcruel
2008-04-12 04:13 pm UTC (link)

I agree that she's repressed. It seems awfully externalizing to ignore that she got drunk to dry-hump somebody at a wedding. What is it with weddings, anyway? They always seem to cause drama.

But yes, the guy's a passive-aggressive wimp. There's no need for her to spend her life in sackcloth and ashes. I do think that the MSN chick who was giving advice wouldn't have been quite as forgiving to a man who did the same thing, but it seems the solution is for them to both get drunk, have angry sex, and then make reservations for Hedonism.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

khall
2008-04-12 08:55 pm UTC (link)

Yeah, I agree, if this had been a guy he would have been crucified and as someone above said, Karen Karbo's advice is about as helpful asking an assault victim how short her skirt was. I just bet this chick would be fantastic in bed if you could give her enough drinks to unlock her repression. Like a dam breaking, really. That's why it makes my heart hurt. And hedonism is under appreciated in this culture, the Puritans didn't do any of us any favors.

K.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

drcruel
2008-04-12 09:58 pm UTC (link)

Y'know what would have been great? If her advice had been something along the lines of, "The problem isn't that you unleashed your inner slut, the problem is that you unleashed it for some stranger at a wedding instead of for your husband. So lemme tell you how to make this right. Next time he comes home from work, be naked. No lingerie-sluts don't wear lingerie, it gets in the way. Push him down in a comfy chair, loosen his pants, get on your knees and give him the messiest blowjob in history. Get drool everywhere, rub his cock against your face when you suck his balls, and make sure he cums all over your face and hair. I promise he'll stop thinking 'divorce' and start thinking 'THAT is the girl I married!'"

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	khall 2008-04-13 04:27 am UTC (link)
	rolls K. (Reply to this)(Parent)

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