Khall's Friends
[Most Recent Entries]
[Calendar View]
[Friends View]
Below are the most recent 25 friends' journal entries.
[ << Previous 25 ]
| Sunday, May 18th, 2008 |
telynor
|
10:24a |
|
| Saturday, May 17th, 2008 |
male_dom
[ slave_dina ]
|
11:01p |
|
lumpyone
|
1:38p |
autogragh
waiting in line to get Alton to sign my book! Just saw him swimming in Kelp forest. Soooooo cooool! |
male_dom
[ llc006 ]
|
2:58p |
|
telynor
|
9:20a |
Celtic Dreams: Progress, Day 7 (early) Actually, this is really the second half of progress from Day 6; I just wanted to take photos in the morning when the light is better. I have joined the garment to do the long and probably frustrating (because it is so long) body in the round, which involved casting on 34 stitches between each piece, bringing the total number of garment stitches up to 272. And, I forgot how heavy a jumper in the round is! I'm already having to support the garment on my lap or on a table so my wrists don't start to ache. Today, I'm working at the English Folk Dance and Song Society's May Fete, so I expect to have a lot of time for knitting, as I'll be sitting behind a table selling books that probably nobody is going to buy. ;-) ( Three detailed photographs and technical notes below the cut tag. ) Current Mood:  accomplished |
| Friday, May 16th, 2008 |
titaniumlily
|
11:59p |
Scaring the poop out of me.. I'm changing. Changing. And I think I'm liking it. :) Current Mood:  excited |
|
cuten
|
9:09p |
|
cubanchic
|
5:10p |
ha her
I just had a Jill scott moment.... I love her. |
cubanchic
|
3:51p |
all to write about but how? One painful thing I have noticed in the last few months that I have not had a english teacher.. is that I am falling back even more. example: I am now typing in my head what the correct word should be and a word that is close in spelling often gets typed out. I review my words and don't catch it. I review my words as I should a few day later and I am motified.
I hate this god damn handicap I have, I really fucking can't stand it and while I know that I have to have a constant teacher to help me I resent it. I don't read at the level that I write I am much more intelligent then I sound and defiantely more then I write. But it's hard to convey that.. someone of a cliniclcal level told me once that I had a form of something I don't want to say here. Where I could understand all the concepts in a logical and hollistic concept and understand the greater meaning of whatever was being taught. (In other words I ace all my tests, except math) but I couldn't explain how I knew the inform ation or why. I could not communicate it to anyone.
that is so much fustration for someone like me, I feel caged. But it's my own fault I let the lessons slide and now I am paying the price. I am going to call my old teacher back again but I am scared that he will be doubtly hard on me. It's odd but what I want most is that voice inside of me being heard as I speak it. rarely does that happen.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I had a conversation the other day with Daddy, and it was sort of profound. I can't even put it into words just yet, but I knew that I asked him for something that I was afraid to ask for myself and for him. I was very worried that his primary would hate me and how to act around her. I had fears, doubts but a sense that this was a weekend that was needed. I needed him to take over for a bit for Amo so I can wait it out. I wnated her to know that I would never do anything to hurt thier relationship but I also know how it feels if there is someone else. This woman understanding me a little bit is a gift. I really want to just not annoy her at all. ahhh that whole bdsm p[oly thing eh.. a hell of lot easier said then done.
I don't really know how to write about these feelings without it not making sense. I so want to express the little girl in me again and be free. I also want to have the burden of failure removed from my shoulders. Amo can't really do that for me right now and I am hoping Daddy can. At the same time I don't want him to feel a burden from me. I don't want to cause a rift or a problem. It's extrememly hard for me to be submissive to any one right now.. I am sort of protecting my heart. I am acutally afraid to do that now... although I know I need to.
I know that a lot has to do with what happens this weekend with Amo and I. I know that I would feel a hell of lot safer and bewtter if babay steps were taken. We just saw our newborn niece last night and we are processing it today. We both looked at each other and confessed that we didn't want to give up... it's just that do we have the strength to do THAT (folks the emotional heartache of this process is something to be admired.. it hurts like hellin sooo many ways) we both agreed that we didn't that we had to be us for a little bit....BUt we also knew deep down inside that we could not simply give up. The look in each other's face sort of looked like a war buddy that you know will follow you into a hopeless battle.. that look we gave each other was very sad.
So I can't write anymore and it's getting worse, I really do hoipoe that in my despair and writing what I must for my own sanity thta you at least understand a bit of Carmenese.
|
lumpyone
|
9:43a |
WOOO! After a stressful week at work, which really hasn't been that bad because 1) I love my job and 2) I really love my job, I discovered that one of D's aunts has tickets to the Monterey Bay Aquarium. They were won last year at the Sonoma County Fair or something like that and just haven't been used. Last week we got asked to go with her Aunt B and Uncle J (not married, just bro and sis) to go along with them to the Aquarium. We all decided to go this Saturday (tomorrow) and I totally forgot this was the weekend Alton Brown was going to be at the Aquarium for the Sustainable Foods event. WHEEEEEEE! I get to meet Alton Brown! AROOO! So, I found out that he is going to be the diver for one of the Kelp Forest feedings (that is going to be PACKED!) and afterwards he will be signing books! Soooooo, I need to rush out tonight and get one of his books.. although I'd bet they will have some for sale there to purchase and get signed. I'm so excited I doubt I'll be able to sleep tonight!! :D Current Mood:  bouncy |
telynor
|
4:14p |
Celtic Dreams: Progress, Day 6 I've reached one of today's goals: I've got the neckband knitted. The second goal, to cast on the side stitches and join to knit in the round, is next and will be completed fairly quickly. ( Two photographs and notes below the cut tag. ) |
janetraeness
|
8:09a |
|
ladypixel
|
1:14a |
Yeah, so. I'm older. Henceforth, we can state for the record that my birthday no longer exists. If people feel as though it is obligatory to have some form of holiday on this day, please devote said holiday to ferns, or something equally useless and without meaning. I no longer wish to age, thank you. Aging makes me feel old. I'm not old. I haven't posted here, because in all honesty, I have nothing whatsoever to say. Going to bed now. I feel the need to sulk and brood. Current Mood:  grumpy |
| Thursday, May 15th, 2008 |
_martial_arts
[ ideasinmotion ]
|
11:30p |
Hello I used to post under a different username: ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) acidburn96, but if you want I will fill out the survey thing later. I went to a very intense martial lessons earlier this evening. I updated it publicly on my journal (this one) if any of you want to read it. It was in a style called Kyokushinkai which I hadn't heard of till this class. I was curious if anyone knew more about it or is taking it as well and what you think. |
male_dom
[ pvfkb ]
|
4:33p |
|
lumpyone
|
11:44a |
Grrrr! A year ago I signed up for DSL with a local provider and for the entire year I've LOVED the service. I've not had any downtime. I've had only a small problem with the modem when I first got it, but after that there has been no issues. My payments are scheduled to automatically occur the 15th of every month and come June my service ends the 1 year contract. Well, since they bill me a month in advance (I still don't like that, but hey.. what do you do?) they billed me at the June rate AFTER my year contract is up. That means my rate just DOUBLED! I couldn't believe it! They sent NO email, nor letter, nothing to say "Hey... next month your contract ends, gives us a call to get a great rate or you'll be paying double what you did". Nope. Just billed me! I had to call and get them to refund the difference for this month's service (which should have only been my regular amount anyway!), and then agree to go with a "low" monthly rate. Its like $7 more a month than what my rate has been but damn.. not sure if I should keep it?! AT&T will give me a rate for the same kind of service and save me $5 a month. With us saving for the house, is $5 really going to kill me? I guess what upsets me the most is not the increase in cost, but its the fact that I can't get a faster speed from them at all... just on the outside edge of the DSL area but I'm cool with that because the speed we have is fine most days. Wait, there is something else that bothers me more.. the fact that they act like they have such great "local" service and "local" technical support, but just that cocky attitude turns me off too. I would prefer to give my business to a local, small company than some giant like AT&T who I know has shitty customer and technical service... I just have my panties in a bunch and am angry over the fact they charged me without TELLING me first. Grrrrrr Arrrrrgh! Time to go to lunch and destress or I'll likely go postal today... Current Mood:  frustrated |
| Friday, May 16th, 2008 |
tagalog
[ iwanttobethin18 ]
|
1:37a |
hi well looks like a lot of people here are looking for a direct translations here for their phrases. Let me tell you that when you translate an English phrase to Tagalog, they won't have the exact thought that you want to convey. If you want some sentences to be translated, err, just ask me :D I'm not a good translator but I hope I can help Bye [paalam] Current Mood:  excitedCurrent Music: Sandali Lang - Silent Sanctuary |
| Thursday, May 15th, 2008 |
goldenmaia
|
9:57a |
*grumbles* I do not do good in the heat. I feel like I'm back in Fresno. Except it's pretty outside. At least there's that. Current Mood:  hot |
cubanchic
|
12:49p |
Finally - niece Abbey Yeah!!! Abbey is on her way, just got a call from my brother "Lisa is in labor and Abbey will be born this afternoon." So I am finally a Tia to a little girl. Happy Birthday Abigail Diaz!!!!! I am on my way with my mom to the hospital to meet her up close. Current Mood:  happy |
titaniumlily
|
10:18a |
Teh Cuteness :D
|
telynor
|
11:20a |
Celtic Dreams: Progress, Day 5 I'm enjoying talking about this jumper as I knit it. I hope it's not too boring for everybody. I've made good progress, though not as much as over the weekend obviously. I plan to spend at least half of tomorrow knitting, and I'll be manning a stall at the EFDSS May Fete on Saturday, so that bodes pretty well for getting some work done on this jumper, as well. ( Anyway, that's why we put the pictures and technical talk behind a cut tag! ) |
surreality
|
4:07a |
Soooooooo... there's a third gigantic hunk of person-shaped resin headed to the house as of a few hours ago. OK, well, it's not headed here yet, hell, the first two haven't even shipped yet, but you know what I mean. Nekkid again, technically, but painted/prettied up. I ordered a plain black suit for him so he isn't sitting around with his parts flashing to all and sundry, and so my mother doesn't spontaneously combust at the sight of doll bits. My mother is an enabler, I tell you. A big ol' enabler. "Oh, he is really lovely, he looks just like that anime character you loved as a kid that there were paintings of at that exhibit in NYC... " (That'd be Vampire Hunter D for anyone who is actually curious.) So he'll be getting a leather cape and a ridiculous hat some day; it's the principle of the thing. There will be meaningful stuff later. I keep meaning to write a big ol' stream of what's going on with me, finally address some of the reasons I haven't been posting... all of that. I mean, what, it's only been years since then. The short form: on the surface, things are getting better -- the house is slowly becoming presentable, we have lovely new couches, I am not just living off the dang credit cards in the off season. All of that stuff is really, incredibly good. It's the stuff that probably matters the most in the long run. It's just that getting my brain to accept these things and actually internalize them that's the real bitch, so I'm incredibly angsty anyway. Woe, the stupid. |
telynor
|
8:06a |
UK Fen: Who's Going to Worldcon? A US friend (Dean, Kathy's partner, if knowing who it is might make you more likely to help) who will be at WorldCon wants to have a book mongoled to him. It'll be an A4-ish size, so will fit nicely in a suitcase. He's a good friend and I'd love to be able to arrange this for him. Can anybody help? I'll make this post public, so if your UK Fandom Fingers are longer and more skeletal and stuff than mine, feel free to link and help out. Current Mood:  busy |
| Wednesday, May 14th, 2008 |
titaniumlily
|
11:38p |
You are the Hanged ManSelf-sacrifice, Sacrifice, Devotion, Bound. With the Hanged man there is often a sense of fatalism, waiting for something to happen. Or a fear of
loss from a situation, rather than gain. The Hanged Man is perhaps the most fascinating card in the deck. It reflects the story of Odin who offered himself as a sacrifice in order to gain knowledge. Hanging from the world tree, wounded by a spear, given no bread or mead, he hung for nine days. On the last day, he saw on the ground runes that had fallen from the tree, understood their meaning, and, coming down, scooped them up for his own. All knowledge is to be found in these runes. The Hanged Man, in similar fashion, is a card about suspension, not life or death. It signifies selflessness, sacrifice and prophecy. You make yourself vulnerable and in doing so, gain illumination. You see the world differently, with almost mystical insights. What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out. It's a new card for me, but.. I guess it applies. A number of answers I wanted to pick weren't available. |
cubanchic
|
8:26p |
men crying B called again and said..."Do you really want to break me?!" I asked what the hell are you talking about. It turns out that He's always wanted this type of relationship with a woman and he's now terrified that I will simply leave him when he gives me his most. I assured him that I wasn't that type of person but if he wanted reference there are plenty of folks that can stand by me.
He was so emotional and then I knew that as his future Mistress I needed to be there emotionally for him. He has had a lot of loss in the last few years and all of that loss stemmed from his acknowledging of who he really was. My heart broke out to him and we talked a bit. He really wants to serve me but is afraid but he can't stop thinking about me at the same time.
There is a lot of pain and I know that, we will work on that. Working on personal pain and helping a person is a what a real Mistress does. I intend on honoring that when B finally get to call me Mistress.
btw B told me he was crying tonight, he was lost and wanted a anchor to hold on to, I was his anchor. The task I had given him was at the same time enticing but scary, I finally had made it real for him, he really needed to talk to me.
I comforted him but I also knew that this could break our relationship, experience told me to just be there for him and listen. I did.
You know people think of male slaves as this type of person and I never do, they are just like me and I always put myself in thier our shoes. B has assured me again tonight that he realy wants to make me proud and while that is nice to hear I am holding back a bit.
a link that you all should see and know what I mean....It's not easy get that man back when you unintentionally make him cry.
http://www.toomuchsexy.org/index/weblog/comments/crying_men/
BTW I have never ever seen Amo cry except on our wedding day, it was too much for me and I am glad that his tears were tears of joy. |
[ << Previous 25 ]
|
